Wow, I haven’t updated this is a LONG time. Partly because I’ve been busy, mainly..because I forgot my password. haha.

A lot of people have found a strange interest in me ever since I did Warped Tour this summer. Can’t lie and say it isn’t flattering, but can’t lie and say I’m not a little weirded out as well. 2010 was a pretty successful year for me in that I worked with 4 bands, 1 label and 1 music venue. I’ve learned so much this year and found that I’m not as confident with what I want to be doing in my life. I always thought that I was fulfilled, or working towards that level. I bought a house and everything was sort of falling into place. Is this what they call a real quarterlife crisis?!

20 year-old me would not have thought that 24 (almost 25) year old me would still be struggling with many of the same issues 20 year old me faced. The 20 year-old me would probably have said, ‘YOU GET TO WORK WITH OK GO!?!? You’re about to go on tour with Pete Yorn?!? You’re getting a raise but you want to go to South Korea?!!? Girl, you crazy!’

Here’s the big kicker…I want to quit everything and move to South Korea by 2012. What will I do? I’m not sure, I’m going to apply for some research grants this year and next year, I will teach English as the last resort..but if I teach English I’m going to be doing it right so I am about to sign up for a 120hr TESOL certificate that will help increase my pay if I do decide to teach. Lots of my friends have done this from my college roommate who went to Spain, one who went to Japan and the other Thailand. I always used to think this idea was below me….but I’m not sure why I didn’t decide to do it earlier! I was too involved in clubs at my college to go abroad, and it really wasn’t until I dropped everything to tour my junior year that I realized there was more to life than school and clubs..I’m sad it took me 3 years to realize I was missing out on a lot of fun with my friends in order to be more grown up.

All of my friends in college are kind of undergoing the same analysis. Are they fulfilled? Are they happy in their life? Questions I thought I knew all along. One of them quit her high-paying, high-profile job at Deloitte to pursue a photography career (she’s one of the most talented people I know..she can do anything and everything, but I never thought she’d do it!). When I met up with her in Vegas she told me she was proud and glad that I had taken the road less traveled to do what I had wanted all along. Now, she’s doing what she wants to do, too.

I think the early 20s me was definitely happy. The almost 25 year old me, isn’t so happy anymore. I can see why people would be intoxicated with the idea of fame….I am not famous at all but strangers want to know more about you, give you gifts and hung up on every word you say, it is flattering. Now that my life has kind of sunk in a bit, it doesn’t feel as glamorous as it used to be.

Boohoo, I swear I don’t pity myself, but sometimes (and I never thought I’d say this) I crave that 9 to 5 security. I moved to Boston for adventure. I moved to Austin for a new adventure…I’ve been shaken out of my element SEVERAL times on tour, moving, traveling.. I’ve always wanted to live abroad. I always wanted to live in Belgium, but what about someplace with a different language, a different culture, far away and exotic. It’s something my 25 year old self wants to experience., but there’s also that cancer in me who craves security. I envy travel bloggers who pick up and go constantly, without fear. Lately, I’ve been craving some school in my life. I looked at Masters programs, but I dunno if I can commit to a masters program. I e-mailed some of my old Professors, some of them suggested I move to LA where there’s plenty of film and music opportunities. Meh…I just don’t want to be in that kind of debt again (still am..), but if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.

Anyways, enough for now. I’m going to try to narrow down what I want this blog to be about so it’s not so scattered and all over the place.

Happy Lunar New Year everyone!